who's the ECL?

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Portland, Oregon, United States
I'm not BAD evil, more like devil's food cake evil.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Notes To Self at the Portland Airport on a Sunday Evening While Watching the Women's Beach Volleyball Olympic Match Against China

1. Those women's beach volleyball uniforms are like a bra and panties.
2. In fact, their Olympic uniform panties cover less than my actual panties.
3. Airports are like people observation playgrounds.
4. Especially if you like watching people freak out. On their kids.
5. I mean, these women are some serious eye candy in their tiny panties and shiny sweaty hard bodies.
6. I don't think I ever realised how much eye candy the summer Olympics are. I mean, swimmers? HELLO. THOSE MEN ARE HOT.
7. Speaking of hot men, why do the men's beach volleyball uniforms suck so bad? Seriously disappointed.
8. And speaking of men, all these women athletes have such androgynous bodies.
9. And speaking of androgynous, the person who made my bratwurst? Can't tell if s/he is taking the female hormones, or is just That Gay.
10. I mean, bitch might have gotten her boobies.
11. And speaking of John Hughes, those new JCPenney commercials with all those kids re-enacting scenes from The Breakfast Club? BAD. Those kid actors have no idea what they're doing.
12. Watching the Olympics just serves to remind me that I Am So Not Athletic.
13. But I was a kick-ass field hockey player!
14. It was easy to be a kick-ass field hockey player on my high school team because I played defense and our offense was so good I often didn't have much to do.
15. Seriously. Who made these uniforms?
(The match finishes and I wander over to my gate, where I discover that my flight has been delayed by about 90 minutes.)
16. People watching, even at airports, gets boring after one hour.
17. If, due to a delayed flight or overzealous airport arrival, it is important to have a good soundtrack to accompany your people watching experience.
18. Today's soundtrack provided by The Black Keys.
19. Muttering middle aged men crouched down on the floor next to you screwing with their bag and wiping their face are creepy. Creepy.
20. People who feel compelled to yell into their cell phones suck.
21. Taking notes while people watching is really entertaining.
22. Why do some women insist on traveling in 4 inch heels? They look so sad hobbling through the airport as if their bag weighed 5,000 pounds.
26. Holy crap the rise on that man's pants is so high you could mistake them for overalls, daaaamn.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Friday, August 15, 2008

Countdown to Wedding Extravaganza

The list of things I need to get done or help my sister get done before her wedding in 8 days grows longer by the minute. The emails between my sister, my dad, and me are flying fast and furious over the magical lines. The forwards of such emails to the stooges (who are also coming to the wedding) (thank god) are almost as numerous, usually with side commentary from me that says: "please help me. They are crazy."

I leave on Sunday and will return a little more than a week later with a brother in law and probably a serious hangover (emotionally if not physically).

Seriously though. I love my sister and am looking forward to her wedding, and I love Mike and think they are a great match. She really isn't much of a bridezilla or assigning me crazy impossible tasks. I am her big sister and want her to have the best wedding ever. And she wants me to enjoy being her MOH (aka bride doula) and that's why she invited the stooges to come. She says the three of us are like a tripod, which is much sweeter than saying we are like the three stooges, however more truthful that may be. I get dibs on Larry.

Anyhoots, have a wonderful week and I promise to share stories and photos when I get back!

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Half-Blood Prince!

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I know it is two in the morning and that I am half asleep on the couch, but! I just watched the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince trailer!! SO EXCITED, SO EXCITED!!!!

Go watch it too, then come back and tell me what you think!


Tuesday, August 05, 2008

I Will Surely Regret This

I regret that I am about to do this. I do not like her, I do not like her being famous for no good reason, but I do like this spoof. I can't believe I like this spoof. I can't believe I want to share this with you.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Note: please don't see more videos of Paris Hilton; don't encourage her fame as I have. Do as I say, not as I do, please.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

11. make a pie from berries I've picked that morning

Berry season is in full force here with the blueberries, marionberries, and boysenberries in peak season. Blackberries and huckleberries are just around the corner and raspberries are finishing up. This is a good time to be an Oregonian.

This is also a good time to bake a pie from berries I've picked that morning.

A couple of years ago I made RLB's fresh blueberry pie and it was soo good, and pretty easy. I am having a blueberry moment these days, trying to eat as many of them as I can, so I thought I oughta try baking that pie again.

Thursday I drove myself out to Sauvie Island, which is a 20-30 min trip to the Northwest of Portland. The drive out was pleasant and exciting, as the weather was beautiful and my hands were eager. I wanted to U-pick as many blueberries as I could stand, as I can't seem to get enough of those little blue guys right now.

Sauvie Island is a little island nestled in the Columbia River just outside of Portland, however it couldn't be more different. The island is primarily farm and wildlife refuges. There is no gas station on the island, and only a tiny little market for food. Houseboats line the Multnomah Channel that separates the island from the Oregon mainland. Eagles and hawks soar overhead every now and then, and heron fish on the shores of the lakes and river. It is an idyllic, bucolic retreat from city life.

To be sure, Portland is surrounded by farms and bucolic ideations no matter which direction you go, but there's something special about Sauvie Island. I'm not sure what it is, maybe it is the fact that it is an island. I sure do like islands.

My favorite farm to visit when I'm on Sauvie Island is Kruger's Farm. They have lots of U-pick berries and, in the fall, pumpkins. They host summer concerts every Thursday night complete with hayrides, food and drink, and beautiful scenery. In October they put on one heck of a hoe-down, when you can take a nighttime hayride out to the pumpkin patch, run around their corn maze in the dark, warm up by their huge blazing bonfire, and dance with your friends and sweeties inside the barn-like store.

At Kruger's Farm I took my ambitious load of empty tubs out to the blueberry patch. The patch this year is located on the other side of the bank of trees behind the store; a nice little walk past the gazebo lawn where the summer concerts are held, and just down a ways from their gorgeous old oak trees where people get married.

The blueberry bushes were well berried; there were still plenty of unripe berries for those of you who still want to go. Blueberries are so easy to pick--if they aren't ripe they aren't coming off the bush. All I needed to do was hold my tub under a cluster of berries and sort of roll them around in my hand; the ripe and juicy berries would fall off and roll down my palm into my waiting bucket. I was able to pick almost 3 pounds in about an hour. Nice!

By that time, I was sweaty and hungry, and quite satisfied with my day's pickings. So I walked back to the store, where I bought some green beans (grown on the farm) and an ice cream sandwich (not grown on the farm). As I ate my treat I eyed their sunflowers, which were available for u-pick, and decided to leave them be. Then I drove myself back into town to make pie.

The pie took a little bit of drama to come together, which you can read about on the other blog. I look forward to the day when pie making becomes as easy for me as cake baking. I know there is a real art and intuitive feel to pie dough that comes with practice, patience, and time. I am willing to keep trying, as the reward can be so sweet.

I had a good deal of leftover berries after the pie was made. I ate handfuls of them at a time, every time I was in the kitchen. I swirled them into my morning oatmeal. I snacked on them with chocolate chips. I sure do love them blue little berries.

Last night, four friends (including myself) converged in my living room for an evening of catching up on news and happenings, disco dancing, wine drinking, and berry eating. We polished off the last of the blueberries with Gloria Gaynor and a perfumed Sauternes. It was a delicious feeling, sharing the berries I had picked with my friends as we toasted our friendship and shaped our future dreams.

Sweet fruit indeed.

fresh blueberry pile