who's the ECL?
Friday, February 29, 2008
I realised that being the MOH is a lot like being a doula. The bride, like a mom in labor, is a female going through a big and life changing transition. She may yell, cry, scream, and bite. She will act irrationally even though to herself she feels perfectly rational. She may be demanding. She may also be gracious, stronger than she imagined, and willing to roll with the punches, especially if she's got a good MOH at her side. A good MOH will stand by her bride when the parents are freaking out about money, the flower person is freaking out about the heat wilting the arrangements, her irrational friends are demanding special attention, and everyone else thinks she is going nutjob crazy. The MOH agrees to do the bride's bidding, protects the bride's wedding plans, and is the heavy when shit hits the fan during the actual event. The MOH always assures the bride that she is coping beautifully, except when she is not and it is the MOH's job to snap the bride out of her self indulgent mood and get moving.
At first I was completely overwhelmed to be my sister's MOH since I had never been a MOH before--but now that I see the parallels between my job and being the MOH, no problem!
I was at an awesome birth this morning. Second time mom, who in her first birth got an epidural right as she was opening to 10 cm. The epidural played havoc with her baby's heartbeat (decels! panic!--the nurse didn't know she was moving to 2nd stage where decels happen quite frequently as the baby gets smooshed and shoved into the birth canal). She never felt an urge to push or even the pressure sensation most women feel when they have an epidural. So this time she really wanted to give birth sans medication, and really experience the pushing sensations.
Which she did, beautifully, awesomely, despite herself. She just wasn't sure she really could do it, but with a lot of encouragement, belief and support from her whole birth team she dug deep within herself and found a way to do it. I love it when that happens. I mean, witnessing women do that is what I do this job for.
But holy hannah, I am exhausted. I went to work and thankfully my schedule was tightly packed so that I didn't get sufficient downtime to realise how freaking tired I am. I mean, my last treatment was a shiatsu and I swear I almost nodded off when I was working on her back. Seriously, people.
I am looking forward to tomorrow, when I might change out of my pjs sometime in the late afternoon/early evening to go grocery shopping. My menu? Meatloaf with mac and cheese. Hooray for downtime!
Monday, February 11, 2008
I watched this movie today and I wept. Not with joy, not with sadness, but with fury and frustration.
If you are a woman or a man who is planning or hoping to have children someday, please make your choices INFORMED choices. I don't care what choices you make, just be informed. Know what you are choosing and the risks and benefits.
This film is available to rent from Netflix, but there are a lot of communities around the country airing it: check The Business of Being Born website to see if it playing somewhere near you. Take your mom, your girlfriends, your manfriends. Get talking about it.
I am lucky that I live in such a community where women have so many choices. I know that what we have here in Portland is not the norm, and that just fucking kills me. Women choose to have unassisted childbirth at home rather than go to the hospitals, because that is their only other choice. What the fuck is that, people??? It is completely inexcusable.
We have the right to choose a legal homebirth with trained medical support. We have the right to choose a HMO birth with OBs. We have a right to not be judged or discriminated against because of the choices we make. We have a right to make our choices not based on fear or whether our insurance will cover it, but based on our hearts.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
I don't have human babies, but I do have two fluffy, chubby, cuddly, sheddy cats. Anastasia is the tortoise shell kitty in the back. Pippin is the lynx point in the front.
Pippin loves Annas but she merely puts up with him. So when I come home and see a rare sight as this, I take pictures and put them up all over the internet.
Hope you are cuddling with someone you love, or at least merely put up with.