who's the ECL?

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Portland, Oregon, United States
I'm not BAD evil, more like devil's food cake evil.

Friday, November 23, 2007

The Obligatory "Things To Be Thankful For" Post

...in bullet points, because you know how I feel about them....
  • I am thankful for these past two beautiful, clear, sunny days over a long lazy weekend.

  • I am thankful that I got to spend the majority of yesterday by myself making a huge mess in the kitchen.

  • I am thankful that out of that huge mess came four pies, three of which are pretty damn good. The fourth pie has the potential for greatness, but would be better if I hadn't burned the caramel and had toasted the nuts more.

  • I am thankful that I had such a good time creating yesterday that I didn't mind that the fourth pie is bitter and not so much fun to eat. Usually I throw a tantrum.

  • I am thankful to have spent yesterday evening with my old roomie whom I haven't seen much of since she moved out.

  • I am thankful for my life, the way it is turning out. My life, by and large, is pretty awesome.

  • I am thankful that I have good relationships with my immediate family, which is something rare in this world.

  • I am also thankful for the wonderful, warm, supportive circle of friends, acquaintances, clients, co-workers, healers, mentors, and teachers that I can rely on in some way or another for my own healing, growth, sustenance, and laughter, and I am very thankful that these relationships are not one sided.

  • I am thankful for Earl Grey tea, Jack Johnson, fat fuzzy cats, and nowhere to be anytime soon.

  • I am thankful that you are out there, reading my blog, whether you know me or not.

  • and I'm thankful for my hardships, for without them I would have no chance to learn just how strong and tenacious I am, and I'd never get a chance to learn that no matter how dark and terrifying things can get, no matter how long and scary the free fall, that there is an ending and things eventually do get better, even if the change comes so excruciatingly slowly it seems to never be coming at all.

For all these things, I give thanks.

Monday, November 19, 2007

ECL Loves Bullet-Point Posts (and Hyperlinks)

Weekend highlights:

  • I had THE BEST FREAKIN creme brulee' in my life to date. Southpark--DO IT. Creamy, smooth, vanilla, crispy, orgasmic. It was all of these things and more. I would take a bite, and the whole damn druken bar would fade out as I rode a wave of creamy vanilla bliss. And I am only partially embellishing. It was better than Cats.

  • My roomie Joelf and I went to the Hippodrome's Grand Opening show Saturday night. The Hippodrome is a new club/bar/place dedicated to the circus arts, and also for being a way station for circus people coming through town. They invited Pure Cirkus from Seattle to come down and perform. It was mostly fire dancing and "acrobalancers" and some aerial stuff with a rope--if you're ever seen a Cirque du Soleil show it was like that, but for the death-metal/goth/art crowd. The accompanying band, Midway Orchestra, was a metal band that included a saxophone and a clarinet. Fun, loud, and quirky.

    I realized at that show that I really do like to associate myself with the weirdo creative people in the world. I felt most at home in this sea of weird clown makeup, brightly colored hair, tattoos and piercings. I like not normal. Even if it becomes a tad pretentious.

    The grand finale of the show, however, was a bit too not normal for even me. It involved piercings and suspension and it was more than I wanted to see. I could have got up and left, but in my shock and OMG I was glued to my seat. With my face averted 95% of the time. I have to say, though, that the woman who did it seemed quite happy to be doing it. More power to her.

  • Last night as I was quietly starting yet another crafty project (crochet a bathroom rug out of the unraveled yarn from a previous bathroom rug that I grew to dislike) Joelf calls me and asks me if I'll be home for the evening and that he and Carlotta needed my help.

    It turns out they decided to enter The View's contest to win a Dodge Caravan and come on the show. They had to take a classic Christmas song (four were provided) and re-write it to include specific phrases like "swivel and go," "the View," etc. They needed me to film them singing it and upload it to the entry site. And they had two hours before deadline.

    Those two have entertaining in their bones. It only took a few takes before they hit it perfectly and within the time limit. Good job, kids! You can watch the video on Carlotta's blog.

  • I was perusing Metroblogging Portland and I randomly, for no good reason, clicked on Brewcaster's website link and found in one of his posts, a link to the funniest youTube videos I've ever seen. I mean, the guy who overdubbed it is a freaking genius, and he has a wicked sense of humor... If I had to choose one, I'd choose this one below, but only very narrowly. The clapping is fucking out of control hilarious!!

    And when you get done watching this one, go to video 15 of 15 on the little horizontal scroll bar in the youTube player called Iron Maiden Shreds and watch that one too. Ridiculously funny.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Out and About


poor us. this was our view., originally uploaded by jensteele.

I just spent the last six days of my life in New Mexico at a place called Ghost Ranch. I grew up 10 minutes from the San Francisco Bay nestled up against the hills that led to the Pacific Ocean, so I am not much for altitude. I spent my time at Ghost Ranch huffing and puffing as I walked from the bathroom to my bed, blowing big bloody chunks of stuff out of my nose, and undergoing one of the most personal and professional transformations ever.

It is all so new and raw to me, and the newness that is what I am becoming is still hardening in the sun, so I don't want to speak much of it until I can be solidly myself.

But, wow, the return journey is really hard. Today, I slung my purse over my shoulder and with it came all the old expectations of who I thought I was and what I thought would be okay for me to live with. As I picked up my computer bag I felt another slew of little monsters that used to be what I lived with, trying to pull me back down into the soup of what I was 7 days ago. It just goes on and on--the habitual drive to work where I usually yell at everyone driving poorly around me, the armor of personal expectations I put on when I go to work....

I am truly very blessed to be working in an environment that I played a part in creating, and that the work I do is the work I love, and that my search for my authentic self isn't at odds with the majority of my life. I don't have to hide myself to earn a living; in fact the more I don't, the better for my work.

But wow. Life out there...is that the real world, or was the life I just experienced in the last 6 days what was really real??