who's the ECL?

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Portland, Oregon, United States
I'm not BAD evil, more like devil's food cake evil.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

First Published Rant of 2007!

My cousin and his wife had a baby almost exactly a week ago (at 11:43 tonight he'll be seven days old)!

They called me last Friday and said, "hey, we're getting induced on Tuesday!"

And I said, "WHY????" What I was thinking was, "what the fuck do they want to induce you for? fuckin HOSPITALS."

They said, "I don't know, cause we haven't had the baby yet."

To which I replied, "when was your due date?"

"Oh, its this Sunday."

(me thinking again: O MY GOD. JESUS F'ING ETC. WHY DO PEOPLE GO TO HOSPITALS TO GIVE BIRTH ANYWAY?)

"Is there any medical reason why they want to induce you TWO DAYS AFTER YOUR DUE DATE???"

"Well no, the baby's fine. I'm fine. We just haven't had him yet."

"THAT'S IT. I'M COMING OVER."

.....

Attention please, Western Medicine:

Babies in the womb do not know how to read a calendar. Babies in the womb do not know how to tell time. Babies in the womb don't understand that they are expected to comply with a system of time when they don't really even know what time is yet.

Babies in the womb do understand that their home is getting awfully small, and that every now and then the walls of their home squish against them and push them down a little bit. Babies in the womb will eventually come out. There is no evidence that a baby will stay put inside of a cramped uterus. There is no evidence that a woman's own body won't kick in the proper hormones to push out that kid. Its not like a woman's body will eventually re-absorb the fully grown baby if it doesn't come out within an certain time frame, like it would a splinter. By the way, that time frame you've figured out, is just an estimate. At best.

So stop fucking around with women who are pregnant. Stop giving them a hard due date, and stop threatening to force their baby to be born just because their baby isn't complying to YOUR wishes. Stop telling women there is no harm in inducing, because that is an out and out lie and the research proves it. You are not god. You are not in control of a woman's labor, or her body, and especially not her baby.

Back off, western medicine. Your dominant paradigm, that a body cannot be trusted to function on its own without management, namely your management, is a false paradigm. Your belief that childbirth is a dangerous and life-threatening situation that needs to be carefully managed by you and your lackeys is largely a false belief. Your misplaced trust in your machines and tests has taught you to listen only to the beeps and whirrs of man's toys, not to a mother's cries and her baby's galloping heartbeat. Your outdated standards of practice lead to more causes of infant injury and mortality than those women who "barbarically" give birth in a field. In the DIRT, WITH BACTERIA!!!!!!

When will you learn, western medicine? When will you learn that you are not in charge of our lives and deaths? When will you learn that your desire to control and mange every aspect of this event will not necessarily make the situation better, or guarantee life and health? When will you accept that the very protocols that you put in place to save us from our own pain and possible death may cause the very thing? When will you stop being so afraid of our own mortality that you would be willing give up humanness in order to save us from dying? In order to save us from ourselves you try to take away everything about this life that makes it unpredicatble, human, emotional, and magical. In your utopia, western medicine, we would all be guaranteed a painless and long existence, but at what cost???