who's the ECL?

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Portland, Oregon, United States
I'm not BAD evil, more like devil's food cake evil.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Walking Your Talk

I attended my last birth of 2006. It was L O N G. The longest birth I've ever been to, but by no means the longest birth ever. This one was 44 hours long.

I did go home and sleep for about 5 hours in the middle of the whole thing and I'm glad. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't get the nap. Found the means to get through it, I suppose.

This birth was fabulous and wonderful and the little one is precious and darling, and this post really isn't about them. Of course, its about me!

I was interviewing with a prospective couple today and as I was talking to them I finally put it together what bugs me so much sometimes:

Childbirth is something so intense and personal and life changing, and every mom tells me that they knew all that intellectually before the birth, but they didn't really get it until they were in it. So, being a doula and a birthing from within mentor, new couples look to me to help them prepare and understand what will be happening during labor. And I know they won't know until they're doing it. And a lot of them know it beforehand too. So how do I do it? How do I help them get something that they just won't get until they're doing it??? And how do you convey that they really won't get it until they're doing it??

And how, in the name of all that is, do you get them to let go of control and fear and embrace walking in the dark?

Sigh. I know the answer. The answer is so simple, and thus so profound. I need to do it, every day, every moment, for myself, in my life. And when I embrace it, when I become it, then these couples will get it, and I will convey exactly what I am struggling to convey.