who's the ECL?

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Portland, Oregon, United States
I'm not BAD evil, more like devil's food cake evil.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Horoscope This Week

Listen Up -- the Cosmos Is Talking!
Rethink your approach and harmony will prevail

Since powerful Pluto is in a high degree (24 degrees), as all planets finish their transits through a sign -- and they enter a new sign -- they have their last conversation with this transformational planet. It's like a doorman who has something profoundly important to say to you on your way out. Pluto's message to Venus on September 25 and to Mercury on September 27 is to let go of old beliefs and ideas about love and what you think you need in your relationships.

Its hard to spend time with someone you love who is leaving for good in a few weeks. I feel this giant clock ticking away above our heads, counting down to D-day, reminding me that this will be the last time we'll be in Portland together, this will be the last time we'll get coffee at this place, there are no more chances for him to get to know my friends.

When he carves out time to see me in Olympia in a few weeks, it will be even worse. It will be The Last Time, period. The last time we cuddle in bed, the last time we watch a movie together, the last time we kiss, the very last hug and the very final Goodbye.

And I don't want to do it. At all.

So what am I telling myself about love these days? I am telling myself that love sucks, and that there is so much pain involved in being in love that I am sick of it. And I am telling myself that maybe mom is right and I should just settle for a humdrum boring kind of guy that loves me way more than I do him, so that there is less passion and heartbreak. I am telling myself that love is too cruel to mess with, and I am telling myself that love, however sucky and cruel and heartbreaking and terrible, is something that I just can't live without, and so I am telling myself that I am resigned to hurting and loving forevermore.

So Pluto, Mercury, and Venus, if love can be some other way, you let me know. In the most kind and gentle way that you can, please, for I don't think I can take it any other way right now.